- My first day without her -

     February 26, 2012 is the day the my amazing God called my best friend back home. I have never lost someone as close to me as she was/is. She's gone. She is at rest. No pain, No hospitals. She's doesn't have to deal with all the cheating and lying. All the drama that comes along with living in this crazy world. I got to see her last night.. I held her hand & kissed her sweet face. I leaned to her and whispered..

     "M is here(She always called me 'M'). I'm here sweet girl. I love you so very much, Annie.  I know you are tired, baby & it's OK. It's OK to be tired.  You don't have to fight anymore.  It's not giving up. You don't have to be strong for anyone anymore. Let God take care of you, baby girl. Everything is going to be fine. Always remember me & that I love you."

I know we had our differences but what best friends don't. I'm not going to be selfish & stay mad at her or at God, because this morning I was. I felt that he had taken her from me. She left ME! She's left me here all alone to go through what life has in store for me all by myself. I know better than that. I know she is perfect. She is the Annie that everyone knows and loves again. I don't really know if these tears are tears of reliefe or of sadness. Possibly a little of both.. I will miss her soo much & I'll forever hurt bc I can't just pick up the phone and tell her I love her anymore.

     Today was the most beautiful day. She gave this day to us. God cleared the skies. He parted the clouds so she could look down upon us and I know she is asking God to touch us. To help us get through her passing. My daughter now has a guardian Angel. Annie will look after Mia for as long as time goes on.
I went to church this morning. I cried & I prayed & I cried some more.. but when I walked out those doors I felt her. I felt as if she was the wind putting her hand on my face telling me "it's ok to cry, M. I'll always be here with you, I haven't left you & I never will" I felt a weight lifted off me.

     I will never get over this. I will write about her often. There is a piece of my heart missing now. & none will ever be able to replace it. Her & God are walking hand in hand in the streets of Heaven & he is explaining his plan to her. Why she was called home so young & why we have to hurt. She finally understands.. & she will be waiting to meet me again one day.. but until that day. I will love her and talk to her and tell Mia about her..
I love my Annie more than anything. & I miss her soo terribly.

Be strong..

Our Father, which art in heaven,
Hallowed be thy Name.
Thy Kingdom come.
Thy will be done in earth,
As it is in heaven.
Give us this day our daily bread.
And forgive us our trespasses,
As we forgive them that trespass against us.
And lead us not into temptation,
But deliver us from evil.
For thine is the kingdom,

The power, and the glory,

For ever and ever.

Amen.