Sadness - I’m sad because my very best friend of the last 7 years is fighting what seems to be a losing battle with the dreaded cancer. Every relationship has it’s ups & downs even if it is just a FRIENDship. She has hurt me and I know I have hurt her but in the end we were/are always there for one another. I didn’t agree with her lifestyle & I quote she was “jealous” of mine. I would go to the end of the earth to help her out in any way that I can even if she didn’t ask. She wouldn’t ask because she is too proud. I’m sad because the girl who weighed 180ish is now a buck 15. Her hair is thinning but she is still soo beautiful. She doesn’t breath well but she still has soo much to say.
Happiness - Since this isn’t something that people are usually happy about, it’s odd that I feel some sort of happiness. Her being sick has brought us so much closer together. The past doesn’t matter anymore. All the fights & the arguments are gone. When I brought Mia to see her for the first time it was the best feeling. To share a moment like that with your best friend. I will never ever forget it. I’m happy/thankful that the great Lord has given her to me for this long. I can only hope that in the days to come I get closer to her & she and I can get closer to God…together.
I’m hurt. I’m mad. I’m relieved. I’m lost. I’m confused. I’m literally sick. My mind is racing a mile a min and I don’t know how to slow it down. I have NEVER had to deal with anything remotely close to this in my 26 years & I never thought I would have to. I know this might sound stupid to you guys but if something happens to her..
Who is going to take the chicken off the bone so I can eat it?
Who is going to chop up the onion soo tiny in the spaghetti that I can’t taste them?
Who’s hair am I going to straighten before we go out?
Who am I going to borrow a shirt from & never give it back?
Who’s going to paint my toenails? (NO ONE touches my feet but her)
I’ve worked with her. She has been my roommate. She was in my wedding & I was in hers. She’s my very best friend.
My heart is so very heavy tonight.. It’s hurting. Hurting for her. I know she is in soo much pain. I promise every one of you reading this.. I would take her pain in a heartbeat if I could. She is confident & loud. She is obnoxious & selfish. She had an attitude & she speaks her mind. She’s my heart. I don’t know if she will ever get to read this but..
To you, Melinda Ann Brown.
I will love you like my sister until the day the world ends & for much longer after that. If the Lords will is done & you are called home I know you will be there waiting patiently for me & the rest of your loved ones. Through your struggles & your pain I know that you are stronger then I would ever be. I love you so very much. I’ve watched you fail and rise up again. I’ve witnessed your happiness and I was there when you just couldn’t do it alone. Be strong. I’ll be strong for you, I promise.
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