Bright & Beautiful

 - To My sweet Mia girl -

Bright & Beautiful

All things bright & beautiful,
All creatures great & small,
All things wise & wonderful,
God made them one & all.

Every flower that opens,
Every bird that sings,
... He made their pretty colors, He made their little wings.

The Sunrise in the morning,
The moonbeams late at night,
All the tiny twinkling stars that shine Oh so bright.

The snowflakes in the Winter,
The raindrops in the Spring,
The Summer sun & the Autumn wind,
Each amazing thing.
But that's not all,
There's so much more!
God made each person too.
The miracle of family,
The wonder that is YOU!
Of all things wise & wonderful,
All things that live & grow,
He made you Bright & Beautiful,
From your head to tippey toe.

May God bless you, May he keep you.
May love never be far.
And as you grow, I hope you know,
How wonderful YOU are!



My Outlet

     I don't write to hurt peoples feeling or to air out my dirty laundry or to get attention. I write because it my escape from the world. I love nothing more than to sit down, whether it be with my computer or a pen and a piece of paper and just write. Sometimes I'll write a story or a poem. Other times I'll write about something that is going on in my family, which has been a lot of crap lately. I enjoy writing. && I think I'm pretty good at it.

     Now if there is something that I've said to offend anyone or if something thinks I give a little bit too much information out about certain things.. All I can to you, that someone, is "Don't read my blog." Plain and simple. That is the point of a blog. To tell a story, or ask for advise. To let people into your world. Not everyone reads this and I don't care. No one could read it and I would still write it. I definitely don't mean to offend anyone or hurt any ones feelings, like I said but this is ME. This is what I do.

     Friends are scarce. I don't have many. The ones I do have I don't get to talk to on a daily basis so this is how I connect with them. This is my way of letting them know what's new with me. From now on in this blog when I talk about 'my family' that will ONLY consist of my husband, Steven, my daughter, Mia Elizabeth and myself. I will only ask for prayers for ones who are thankful and appreciate that someone else is thinking about them.  I won't help anyone who doesn't want my help. I wont' offer it to anyone. I'm going to keep things simple for me and my family.
    

Thank you to everyone who actually cares enough to read what I have to say. It means a lot to me.

Meth in the Home

 Ok so I'm not one for putting my family's business out there for everyone to know BUT my sisters business has already been put on the FRONT PAGE of the local paper so I figure, hey.. what the hell.

     For it to be considered "child endangerment" for a child taken out of a home where a meth lab is located the childs toxicity level has to be 300 mg/kg. According to the hair folical test that my nephew had done in the begining of December his level was 3,297. Now I'm not an expert but OMG! I just googled what a lethal amount would be in an adult and it is from 500 mg/kg to 5000 mg/kg. Hmm..

 I was feeling a bit sympathic for my sister thinking maybe.. just maybe she really didn't know what was going on in her home. Maybe she wasn't doing it around her son.. There is NO POSSIBLE way that she didn't know and she ahd to have beend doing it around him as well as her boyfriend/husband. That is the highest level EVER found in an infant. What are people thinking? Now being a parent, I couldn't imagine putting my child in ANY kind of danger at all.. I'm so in love with Mia Elizabeth I would DIE is someone came and took her away from me.

     So what about Stefen William.. What happens to him? He gets bounced around from home to home. Has to go visit is father in prison. Has to watch his mother go through drug rehab & parenting classes, living from paycheck to paycheck. What about when he gets older? In school is going to 'slower' than other kids? Will he regress because of all the drugs he has been exposed to? Learning/speech problems.. mental issues! this poor baby. MY poor nephew. I never thought that my sister would be so stupid. She blames is on him but we all know it wasn't ALL HIM. It never has been ALL HIM. She is an adult. She makes her own decisions.  My heart breaks for Stefen. I pray for him every night and I'm asking that if you are reading this that you take time out and say a small prayer for him.

 Pray that in his life he remembers only the happy times. Pray that he is not effecting long term from what he was been exposed to and grows up healthy.

<3 you, Boog.

My heart breaks because..

  Drugs. I've never experimented with them. Ever. Not even a cigarette, that I can remember, and I think that's pretty good considering my ENTIRE family has had their dealings with drugs in one way or another.
Recently it's been my parents & my sister.
 My Parents: 'Wrong place, wrong time' kind of deal, so they say. Caught with drugs, driving on suspended license, etc. Charges pending, court dates & fines.. You would think after 30 years of getting in trouble and doing drugs it would end. Growing up would commence and life would be different. That's not the case at all. They are MY parents and I DO love them. Since this last bit of trouble they seem to be on the 'straight and narrow' but we will see. I'm really trying to have faith in them. I say a prayer for them every night. I pray that God puts a hand on them. I pray that he touches them and helps them realize that one day it's going to be too late. One day they are both going to wake up and have NOTHING to show for their lives. Drugs and Alcohol - What a life. Deffinately NOT the life I live.
 My Sister: In a way I feel sorry for her. She's in love with a man who is no good. The only man she has ever loved, in my opinion. Ten years her senior, he thinks he can 'show her something'. 'Teach her things'. The ONLY thing he has shown her is how sorry some men can be to the mother of their children. In the past year she has gotten her one year old son, Stefen, taken away by the state of Mississippi. The first time he was just about 2 months old. The reason behind it.. Her boyfirend/babys father was messed up on drugs, made a big scene, fighting, arguing and put my nephew in danger. The second time was just a few weeks ago and this time.. It's REAL! Because of drugs my sister has to have visitations with her son ONCE a week, for just an hour! Rehab, Parenting classes. Psych evals. My heart hurts for her becuase I know she wants to do right. I think she is afraid to change. It's what she's known for so long.. our whole lives. On the other hand I don't feel that sorry for her. I grew up in the same house with the same family. And I have never had to go through any of this. I don't think I'm smarter.. or better than anyone. I've just made better decisions.
 Steven and I are fully prepared to take my nephew into our home if need be. I want to have him the more NORMAL and wonderful childhood. He's young now but what happenes when he starts to remember the things that are going on?! It's not good for him to be bounced around from place to place. Living with grandparents & Aunts/Uncles. His mother should raise him however, if she can't do so like she should Steven and I WILL STEP IN! She is without a doubt a GOOD MOTHER! I just wish she would get her priorities in order.

Sweet Boog. I love him to pieces

He loves his Mimi! He's so sweet with her.

    

My Heart

Can you believe it..

We did this..

Mother & Daughter

The sweetest face I've ever seen

In daddys hands

Giving Thanks

     This year we have been through so much. Moving, getting pregnant, welcoming our baby girl into the world.. We have more than enough to be thankful. We are healthy and happy. We are working and making it work.

What I'm really thankful for is serving the most awesome God! One who makes all these blessing possible. I'm thankful I can worship & serve him with out conviction! He has blessed me with my family and friends. I wake up every morning, not just Thanksgiving Day and am reminded how lucky I am & I'm so thankful.

     I'm thankful for my husband, Steven. We have been through so much together and I don't think I could have done it/made it with anyone else. God made him just for me. and I'm thankful.

I'm thankful for my Mia. She is my heart & you can't live without your heart, can you! Every time I see her I could cry. Being a mother is one of the greatest gifts that anyone can ever receive. She's the best baby & going to grow in to the sweetest little girl! I'm thankful for her.

     My friends have really shaped how I am. All the friends I do have I love more than anything and they are more than just friends, they are my family. Good, honestl people I can depend on! I would do anything for them and I know they would go to the end of the earth for me.. & for that I am thankful!

I have soooo much more to be thankful for...  it's just that simple.

2 weeks in..

     Alright.. We are two weeks into being parents and things are going great! Mia has her days and nights kind of mixed up but that is to be expected, I assume. I know what her cries mean. When she's dirty or hungry or just upset, I pride myself in that.
        Now I'm just waitin until the Dr. gives me the go ahead to start gettin' on with MY regular routine. When I got pregnant I was a big girl. I'd say around 265-270ish. At my heaviest carring Mia I was 302lbs. I know! I always said I never wanted to break the '300 mark' but I did. Not by much but I did. Now.. I'm at 288lbs. I can't wait to start working out and losing more weight. My loss of appitite has helped I know but that isn't the way I want to lose weight.. I want to do it in a healthy way. Working out, eating better. I want my little family to be healthy. I want to be able to run & play with Mia when she is older. You know you see the moms & dads that are over weight who just sit there while their kids play.. We don't want to be that way (which Steven will never be that way lol He is skin & bones as it is)
      She is my motivation! :) If I got down to 200lbs I would be perfectly happy. That's 88lbs gone! Doesn't matter how long it takes as long as I get it gone. I'm not on a time line or going to set a deadline.. That's too much pressure. Soo as soon as the Dr. gives me the go ahead I'll be working on a 'workout routine' and a eat schedule. I'll post my progress. Any tips or encouraging comments are greatly appreciated!